Last Mission
by Alby921
Summary: Thane discovers that he has one last mission after death. REPOST! Had a moment and somehow deleted the old story.
1. Chapter 1

I've decided to continue with this story! I've just made a few minor changes to the first chapter and added a second. I hope you enjoy it - I think I'm going to have to try a happier piece after I finish this one.

So the basic idea is just a few short scenes on the moments in between the major missions in the game. I was to explore how Shepard would really deal with losing Thane. Thanks for reading!

**Disclaimer: Not mine**.

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'I hold on because I won't let go

Even though I know there's solitude below  
I hold on because I can't let go  
I refuse to let the hands of fate unfold  
I hold on'

I Hold On – Slash

Disorientation. That was the main sensation that Thane experienced as he struggled to figure out where he was. All he could see in every direction was a certain blankness that was hard to describe, yet nevertheless unsettling. Unable to use the senses he had relied on for so long to gain his bearings, Thane turned to his memories to try and figure out what was happening.

His memories felt shattered and patchy. He remembered the flash of light on a sword moments before it buried itself in his chest; ragged breaths as he struggled to find air; a perfect prayer said in harmony by the two people he loved most; a feeling of extreme pride in his son and … the sounds of his last breath as it escaped his broken body.

He was dead, then. His life was over – a fact that he regarded with both relief and sorrow. He had long accepted that he was going to die, yet regret that he had left _her _behind filled him. How could he leave her alone in a world on the brink of destruction? How could he be so selfish as to let her love him when he had so little time left? These were questions that had plagued him for months but had never been so relevant now that he had finally, permanently left her.

As a counterpoint to his sorrow, a sound began to tease the edge of his hearing. How odd to be hearing something, in this unpainted afterlife. Thane cocked his head to the side in an attempt to identify the sound. Slowly, he realised that it was a quiet keening. An all too familiar sound filled to the brim with heartbreak and voiced unmistakably by Shepard.

He had never heard her cry before. How strange that he should hear such a haunting sound when he was meant to be at rest. Still, it was in his nature to try to protect those he loved and he frantically began to look for her. Slowly but surely, his empty afterlife began to take form. It seemed as if a lazy hand had begun to paint the details of his world and he realised where he was.

The first thing he observed was his own body, lying still and lifeless in the metal confines of a hospital bed. He looked at it with a strange objectivity – physical form mattered little to the dead. What really mattered to him was the disarray of vibrant red hair that contrasted greatly with the green of an arm. It was a sight that had once filled him with wonder, yet now filled him with pain. He had never seen Jane Shepard lose control, yet here she was, sobbing brokenly over the body of her lover. It was excruciating to see.

Kolyat stood at her back, hesitantly patting her shoulder, as he awkwardly tried to console her. His face was filled with a confusing clash of emotion. Even as tears rolled steadily down his face, he looked as if he wasn't sure whether to mourn his absent father or not. Another cause for regret, Thane thought.

The scene continued and Thane wondered why he was seeing this. He had expected his afterlife to be… different. He wasn't sure what he had expected, however it was definitely not this heartbroken scene of loss. Yet, there was nothing to do but watch.

Jane slowly pulled herself upright and took several deep breaths to calm herself. Her face was red and messy with tears but she seemed not to realise as she quickly turned and all but raced out of the room. Kolyat watched, shocked by her abrupt behaviour but said nothing. Grief was all too familiar to him.

Thane experienced a strange pulling sensation as he observed Jane depart. Almost a compulsion to follow her…

Realisation struck him. So this was to be his next mission, to look after Shepard in what could be the final moments of her life. He was unsure whether it was punishment for his sins or a reward for his attempt to make the galaxy a better place. Regardless, he was content with his fate and he had the notion that soon, perhaps, she would be with him again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two! I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Also - just you know, I have an obsession with Slash at the moment, as you can probably see from the songs at the start of the fic.

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'In the distance light years from tomorrow  
Far beyond yesterday  
She is watching, heart aching with sorrow  
She is broken is broken, as she waits  
Hoping when all is said and done we can learn to love and be as one'

Starlight - Slash

The crew of the Normandy said nothing on the topic of his death. Not a single one stopped to consider the effect that it had on their Commander. Thane expected it of the new members but was surprised at the callous disregard from Garrus, Tali and Dr. Chakwas. Perhaps they couldn't see that she was falling apart. Perhaps they couldn't read her face like he could.

They were small signs but to him, blatantly obvious. She still carried herself with that proud military bearing and was the epitome of professional. Yet dark smudges decorated the underside of her eyes and her hair, whilst still neat, had fallen prey to her nervous habit. Shepard always tugged at her hair when she was trying to escape some emotion.

He remembered the hours before the Omega-4 Relay, when Janes hair had been unbound and tumbling messily around her shoulders. Light from that ridiculous fish tank had reflected off of the glorious waves and he had been awestruck at its alien beauty. She had felt him staring and in her nervousness, began to tug ferociously at her hair. It was endearing to think that the woman who was so fearless on the battlefield could develop nerves at a time like that.

He longed to be able to take her hand and gently smooth her hair now, just as he had on that fateful night.

He realised what kept everyone silent one night when Shepard had taken dinner in the mess with Garrus. They still kept up the witty repartee and easy friendship, yet there was a palpable tension there. It could be seen in Shepards tired eyes and in the nervous fluttering of Garrus' mandibles. The crew saw it; they just didn't know how to deal with a grieving Shepard. And as she walked away, back to her cabin, Thane looked back and saw the regret in Garrus' eyes, the sadness that he didn't know how to help his infallible Commander.

He had long since accepted his role of silent guardian in the afterlife. If he couldn't be at her side in life, it was good to be there in death – despite the pain both of them were feeling. It was the time between missions that was the hardest. These were the times when Shepard had no work left and far too much time to stare silently out at the stars.

That night, she began to talk to him as though he was there. As though she could feel his silent presence as he stood faithfully by her side.

At first, he felt a thrill of excitement. She knew he was here! He tried to reply but his spirit voice could not reach her physical ears. It was extremely disappointing. It had been a foolish hope, he knew but hope was what sustained people, living and dead.

It began as she stood, staring blankly out the window.

'I love you so much, Thane.' She muttered, quietly as though afraid that someone would hear this admission.

'_As I love you, Siha.'_

'Why did you have to leave me?' She asked, plaintively. 'I didn't have enough time with you. I could never have enough time with you'.

'_It was my time, I am sorry.' _

As though she could hear his words, she began to pace angrily around her cabin, punctuating her words with sharp, violent motions.

'You fucking arsehole,' she began, swinging her fists wildly 'why couldn't you just get that transplant?' She screamed at the room, stomping with violent purpose. He watched her furious breakdown and lowered his head in shame. It had never occurred to him that someone would love him this much, that he would deserve such devotion a second time in his life. Eventually, Shepard stopped, shoulders drooping and pressed her palms to her eyes.

'I can't do this alone…' she whispered into her hands as tears began to stream down her face. Sighing, she walked to her bed and fell in, fully clothed. It took her a long time to sleep and when she finally did, Thane wished that she would dream of happier times then now.

Shortly after her violent, yet not unexpected breakdown, Shepard threw herself back into the war effort. She left herself no time to grieve and instead focused all her efforts in uniting the Quarian and the Geth. Thane was unsure whether repressing her emotion was a good thing or a bad thing – he just knew that he would be there, silently observing, either way.


End file.
